The Purchase of Intimacy

Synopsis

In their personal lives, people consider it essential to separate economics and intimacy. We have, for example, a long-standing taboo against workplace romance, while we see marital love as different from prostitution because it is not a fundamentally financial exchange. In The Purchase of Intimacy, Viviana Zelizer mounts a provocative challenge to this view. Getting to the heart of one of life's greatest taboos, she shows how we all use economic activity to create, maintain, and renegotiate important ties--especially intimate ties--to other people.


In everyday life, we invest intense effort and worry to strike the right balance. For example, when a wife's income equals or surpasses her husband's, how much more time should the man devote to household chores or child care? Sometimes legal disputes arise. Should the surviving partner in a same-sex relationship have received compensation for a partner's death as a result of 9/11?


Through a host of compelling examples, Zelizer shows us why price is central to three key areas of intimacy: sexually tinged relations; health care by family members, friends, and professionals; and household economics. She draws both on research and materials ranging from reports on compensation to survivors of 9/11 victims to financial management Web sites and advice books for same-sex couples.


From the bedroom to the courtroom, The Purchase of Intimacy opens a fascinating new window on the inner workings of the economic processes that pervade our private lives.

Summary

The Purchase of Intimacy by Viviana A. Zelizer is a thought-provoking book that offers a unique perspective on the commodification of intimate relationships and emotions in contemporary society. Through a series of case studies and examples, Zelizer explores how interpersonal relationships are increasingly shaped by economic considerations and how the boundaries between the market and intimate spheres have become blurred. In this summary, we will provide a chapter by chapter overview of the book along with real-world examples to illustrate Zelizer's arguments.

Chapter 1: The Purchase of Intimacy
In the first chapter, Zelizer introduces the concept of intimate commodification and how it has become a central feature of modern society. She explains how economic rationality has invaded the most personal and private aspects of our lives, such as romantic relationships and family dynamics. An example of this can be seen in the rise of dating apps and websites, where individuals can now purchase access to potential romantic partners. This commodification of intimacy is also evident in the growing popularity of surrogate motherhood and the buying and selling of human eggs and sperm.

Chapter 2: Commodity Life
In chapter 2, Zelizer examines the relationship between markets and intimacy, arguing that they are not as separate as we tend to believe. She uses examples of gift-giving practices to illustrate how economic transactions are deeply intertwined with emotional ties. For instance, the exchange of wedding rings or the giving of a gift between lovers can be seen as expressions of love, but they are also commercial transactions that involve money and material possessions.

Chapter 3: The Personification of Things
In this chapter, Zelizer dives into the topic of objectification in intimate relationships, where individuals are viewed as "things" to be bought or sold. The author presents the example of sex work and how it represents the ultimate objectification of interpersonal relations. Prostitution is a transaction where the prostitute is viewed as an object to be purchased for sexual gratification, rather than a person with agency.

Chapter 4: The Market in Love
Chapter 4 focuses on the commercialization of love and how it has transformed the ways we form and maintain intimate relationships. Zelizer argues that love has become intertwined with economic considerations, such as the desire for financial security or the search for a wealthy partner. This is evident in the rise of matchmaking services and mail-order brides, where individuals can pay to find a suitable romantic partner.

Chapter 5: Payment for Love
In this chapter, Zelizer challenges traditional notions of love and marriage by exploring the concept of 'love payments.' These can include financial arrangements, such as prenuptial agreements or alimony payments, which are becoming more common in modern relationships. Zelizer also examines the growing trend of sugar dating, where individuals enter into relationships with the expectation of receiving monetary or material benefits.

Chapter 6: Emotional Economies
In the final chapter, Zelizer examines the ways in which emotions are commodified and sold in contemporary society. She discusses the rise of the "emotion industry," which includes services such as therapy, counseling, and self-help books, that offer emotional support for a fee. The author argues that this commodification of emotions has led to a depersonalization of intimate relationships, where individuals seek professional help rather than turning to friends and loved ones.

Through her book, Zelizer challenges us to rethink our notions of intimacy and how it has become intertwined with economic considerations. She highlights the ways in which economic rationality has invaded our most personal and private relationships, and how this has changed the dynamics of love, marriage, and family. With compelling examples and thought-provoking analyses, The Purchase of Intimacy sheds light on an increasingly prevalent phenomenon in modern society and prompts us to consider the implications of intimate commodification for our relationships and social values.