Exactly What to Say

Synopsis

Often the decision between a customer choosing you over someone like you is your ability to know exactly what to say, when to say it, and how to make it count. Phil M. Jones has trained more than two million people across five continents and over fifty countries in the lost art of spoken communication. In Exactly What to Say, he delivers the tactics you need to get more of what you want.

Summary

Chapter 1 – Introduction

This chapter of Exactly What to Say: The Magic Words for Influence and Impact covers the basics of effective communication and the importance of following the right communication approach for your desired outcome. The author emphasizes the need to find the perfect phrasing as well as the right words to produce the desired effect. He calls this the art of “seed-planting,” where you create a scenario and stir someone’s imagination to make them take a desired action. An example of this would be a used car salesperson emphasizing modest amenities in a certain car model to make a customer visually imagine what it would be like to own it.

Chapter 2 – The Psychology of Conversation

This chapter dives deeper into the psychology of communication. Here, the author explains the need to pay attention to emotional cues in conversations to further strengthen your argument. He explains how putting hard facts in an emotional context increase the chances of influencing someone’s opinion. As an example, a local modest clothing store owner could describe how their clothing is not only fashionable, but also a good value for money given quality threads and durable stitching. This will create an emotional connect and possibly influence the customer to make a purchase.

Chapter 3 – The Three Ps

The author introduces the concept of the “three Ps” used to create an impact, which stands for personalization, productivity, and persuasion. By personalizing your message, you can further connect with someone at an emotional level and make sure it resonates with them. Being productive means taking action determined by your outcome and making sure you don't get sidetracked as you strive to accomplish your goals. Persuasion requires you to come up with a creative message that stands out and leaving a lasting impression that compels someone to take action. A real-life example of this would be a marketing team creating a video campaign featuring a popular figure and actor to promote a certain product. This could dramatically increase the chances of the product gaining attention in the market and potentially influence people to make a purchase.

Chapter 4 – Asking the Right Questions

The author explains the importance of asking the right questions perfectly timed to get a desired outcome. To understand this, the author talks about two types of questions – open-ended and closed-ended questions which can be used to create a flow of active conversation. An example of this could be a salesperson asking potential customers open-ended questions such as “What challenges are you facing in your particular industry right now” or closed-ended questions such as “Does our product help address those challenges?” to determine a fit and potentially make a sale.

Chapter 5 – Diffusing Disagreements

The chapter focuses on how to effectively address disagreements by listening and respecting each other’s point of view. The author emphasizes the importance of using the right words and remaining focused on finding common ground. For instance, a customer service representative engaging a customer who is upset about a bad product experience could gently reiterate what the customer has said and try to empathize by saying “I understand this must have been frustrating for you” and then follow up with a possible solution.

Chapter 6 – Closing the Deal

This chapter explains the techniques used to close a deal in business, such as using the right questions and reminding people of their investment to make them feel obligated to move forward. For instance, a car salesperson could ask a customer if they think the car’s features are worth the price and remind them of their benefits if they decide to purchase, such as a longer warranty period.

Chapter 7 – Embodying Your Message

The author explains how speaking out loud imprints ideas inside someone’s head and increases the chances of them taking action. This is based on the concept of “inner game,” where one’s thoughts and beliefs can affect their actions. For example, a nutrition coach could remind someone that they have the power to take charge of their health every day and use their own willpower to achieve their desired results.

Chapter 8 – The Power of Words

This chapter dives deeper into the power words and phrases can have in influencing people. The author explains the power of certain words like “because” or “discover” to capture someone’s attention, create a connection and make them take action. An example of this could be a restaurant owner telling diners that they can “discover amazing new flavors” in the restaurant to encourage them to try out the dishes.

Chapter 9 – Final Word

The chapter covers the importance of following up with your message by reiterating your main points and ending on a positive note. This encourages the listener to remember your message and hopefully take the desired action. For instance, a real estate agent could remind potential homebuyers of a certain neighborhood’s key features and why it’s ideal for them before ending with the thought of a visit soon. This can encourage them to consider the property and potentially take action.